Senran Kagura: Kunoichi Kidnapping

Could you do another Senran Kagura story, or a chapter of this one, with Yumi? She doesn’t get enough love.

OH SHIT IT’S HAPPENING!!!

Hey! Yeap! Its finally happening after all this time. Though even now as I'm re-reading it, there's alot of corrections I'll need to make in terms of grammar and spelling. Other than that, I'm SUPER happy I got this done. Please let me know what you think, and whether or not some stuff should be changed

Yeah, I saw a few errors here and there but nothing I couldn’t infer. Having finished it I want to say that you went out on one heck of a high note. Having their fight end in a stalemate/mutual neutralization was a satisfying resolution, and the succeeding sex scene was similarly enjoyable for the dominance play going on there. Oh, and I take it that Asuka got some surprise buttsex off page? Just checking.

I do want to ask about the alternative endings though. First, I think you’ve got a formatting error, since it says “story branch” both before and after “one week later”. More significantly though, why would an alternative branch exist? I’m also curious about what’s going on with Glom. He’s obviously still connected to Nishu somehow, but he’s possessing Hibari? Not 100% on how that’s supposed to work but I tend to overthink details like that regardless.

In conclusion: loved the story, loved how you ended it, write more plz.

Lol Yeap! Some surprise buttsex for Asuka at the end there. 

I corrected a few mistakes so far, and took out the "Story Branch" quote during the piece, so hopefully that clears things up. I'll be doing more corrections in the meantime. 

As for why another story branch would exist? Its mostly because at the time of me writing the last few chapters, I had to debate with myself about what I, as the author, wanted to continue doing. Did I want to continue the story indefinitely? Or finish this up and be able to move on to other projects? Ultimately I wanted to be able to try writing for other series again, especially since by now I was both fatigued AND satisfied with what I wrote for Senran Kagura. So I gave the ending where everything got wrapped up nicely, and for the time being everyone is happy. The alternative ending doesn't close things out, but instead is a sequel bait that opens the world up so that ANY CHARACTER IN EVERY GAME has the potential of making an appearance. 

To sum it all up: Yes. The "Alternate Ending" is actually just a straight up "Story Branch", which acts the same way as all the other "Story Branches" that have shown up in KK. The first option was always an "Ending", while the second option was a "continuation". Lol it sounds great, but like I said, I do want to work on my other stories.

As for what's going on with Glom? This was a detail I should have mentioned WAAAAY back during Yagyu's chapter. Back then, while Glom was in Hibari, Nishu could still kind of feeel what Glom was doing. So the connection was always there, even when the two were separated. The ending has a similar situation, only since both Hibari AND Nishu gave their consent for the demon's transfer, the both of them can communicate with each other clearly. The reason I didn't mention this was because at the time of writing "Yagyu", I was focused on seeing things from her perspective, and didn't think she'd ever ask a question pertaining to that subject. No reason for Nishu to mention his telepathic connection either, especially when his ultimate goal was to capture her at the very end.

 Thank you very much! I'm so happy the story turned out the way it did, and that you liked it! I'll definitely continue writing lol!

Well I was less confused about the telepathic connection and more what Glom’s status is physically, and if Nishu still has his powers. I suppose him being in multiple places at once isn’t unprecedented though.
I think the reason I was thrown off is that this ending is open ended enough for a continuation, although such things are relative of course. Coming back to this story someday could be cool, but I get the sense that you’d like to not be handcuffed to it indefinitely. Regardless, I eagerly await whatever your next work happens to be.

Oh, and this is my new favorite chapter. By a significant margin. IT’S JUST SOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD!

Whelp, looks like it’s that time of season again. Gib chap. 15 plox!

Heey!
Sorry to say but the release of the next chapter will have to be delayed to much later within February. I've ended up spending much of January playing videogames. Soul Calibur 6, Smash bros, Touhou games, finishing the dlc chapters for Shantae, Hotline Miami, etc. etc. Please understand! There's alot i've needed to catch up on! There is something I can offer up soon though. I've written up a VERY rough draft of a one-shot Non-Con work featuring Kaguya from the Touhou series. A certain time-related monster from a classic game series (PS2 Era) is making a cameo appearance in it! So once I get this first rough draft all edited and polished up, I'll be uploading that.

Let me take this opportunity to compliment your good taste in video games. Excluding the Touhou series I’ve played all of them and enjoyed them thoroughly. And don’t worry about taking a while to update. Your chapters are longer than most short stories and of high quality to boot. As long as you’ve not abandoned anything, and ideally have a rough ETA, I’ll be happy.
BTW, this is pretty tangential but you mentioned SCVI and I recall you mentioning you enjoyed NieR: Automata, so I’m wondering if you’d take a 2Bx9S story under consideration. I’ve been lamenting the lack of works with a dominant 9S, since I find more in charicter than the converse, so I figured I may as well drop it while we’re here. No pressure though. Write whatever speaks to you. That’s why I’m here.
On another note, I mentioned offhand in another comment that your writing style reminded me of Rick Riordan’s. Specifically in how it handles the ‘normal adolescent in fantastical and life threatening situations’ trope. Especially the banter and totally out of his depth protagonist who’s still a nominal badass, even if he doesn’t think/look it. Would you say I’m onto somthing with this train of thought? And if so is it a conscious thing or complete coincidence? Alternatively you have no idea what I’m talking about which is par for the course with me, lol.

Hey! Thank you! 

I definitely agree that there should be more dominant 9S. I find the problem is that people see the Nier characters and just draw them based on their personalities at the very beginning of the game. 9S grows and develops as a character throughout, something I'm certain is lost on artists before they draw them. Unfortunately I don't have plans on writing a Nier story as of yet. Perhaps someday!

I have never read any of Rick Riodran's books, though I have seen the first Percy Jackson movie (I thought it was alright.)

The funny thing about how I write protags is that everything is done for the sake of making sure my OC is NOT an overpowered Gary Stu. I really hate Gary Stu characters, even if I tend to write a bit of that into my own stories. It's something I'll need to learn more about as I continue this craft. In order to avoid the Gary Stu trope, I made up laws for myself that must be adhered to.

1. I must respect the canon character's strength. If the series my OC is in is based around combat and characters doing big attacks, then my OC must NEVER physically overpower a canon character. He MUST win fights by being a mix of both smart and strong. If I can't come up with a clever way the protag wins (or at least is not killed), then I'll have no choice but to kill him off.

The exception being if the canon character is supposed to be super weak, like Hibari.

2. As for the banter, it's a rule that I must never be afraid to have a someone call the OC out on his bullshit. Never be afraid to have people hate my OC. This may come as a huge surprise, but I actually despise harem stories with only one male protag. That's the reason Kunoichi Kidnapping has both Nishu and Glom. Everytime Nishu does something amazingly badass, I need Glom there to punch him really hard in the dick. Glom is there both as a foil to Nishu, and as a 2nd variable that lets me follow rule #1 easier.

The great thing about this rule is that it extends to other characters as well. Half the dialogue I write is one person pointing out how dumb other people's backstories and/or personalities are. There's alot of cheeky self-awareness in some of the lines I write (or, at least I hope there is.)

3. Basic rules of storytelling. Show don't tell. Take my "Nest of The Phoenix" story for example. One character offhandedly described my OC as basically a hot guy who's good with women. Well, it's not enough that I simply SAY that about the guy. If I did that then I'd be no better than Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. I have to show exactly how he talks to people, while still following both rules 1 and 2. 

Ah fuck. Lmao I feel like I went on a tangent there. I'm really sorry I for the long essay and if I ended up not even answering your question. TLDR yes, it is a conscious effort I make, but the process involves me starting off with a strong guy and actively doing my best to make him weaker. Not the other way around. That being said, I LOVE cheesy one liners because I grew up on stuff like the Evil Dead movies and Devil May Cry 3. So when someone says something awesome even if they're getting their ass kicked, it's easy to trace that inspiration back to my old time favorites.

Don’t apologize dude I think it’s intresting. I don’t think 9S is more complex than that since even people who played the entire game and are intimately familiar with the story still hold the same viewpoints. I do think you are right that people’s first impressions prevent them from processing fully his charicter when it is developed over the game though.
The Percy Jackson movie was trash IMHO. I still remember 14 year old me storming out of the theater raving about how they got everything wrong lol.
As for the rest I think we were on the same page to begin with. Objectively the actions are badass but due to our POV that gets distorted and it comes across less John Wick and more Mr. Magoo, which cancels out and gives us Indiana Jones. If that analogy made any sense. I liked the step by step of your exact process though. Was intresting to work through your rationale and methodology.

Whoa that's actually a perfect analogy! And you're pretty much right on all fronts. POV is something I always like to play around with, where two characters have differing opinions on the same person. That's another thing I always try to keep in mind when thinking about people's reactions to stuff. That interplay between personality, impression, and goals between each person.

Its weird I read this for the Senran Kagura smut but now I'm more interested for the possible romance and corruption of Asuka something that I've only dreamed about!
Great Job!

IKR? Although in my case I’d say it was the action scenes that really split my interest. The writing style for them reminds me of Rick Riordan and that was not somthing I expected to be saying on this site.

Love it! The facepalm moment towards the start really sells the charicter you’ve been building up and your use of key events to timestamp different branches of the story is nice to see. Will the next chapter be BoTHE (part 4), or is it going to be somthing else?

Yeah! Now that’s what I’m talking about! It feels kinda weird to be exited by a chapter of a pornographic work that doesn’t have any porn in it though... Will the next chapter be featuring some sexy times? And if not will the rest of the work be plot from here out? I doubt I will be disappointed either way but it’s nice to adjust my expectations appropriately.

Yes! I indeed plan on having sexy times in the next chapter!

Would like to restate TR4PP3R’s question. My breath is held!

Hey! I will be absolutely transparent here.

I will be writing the next chapter for Kunoichi Kidnapping as soon as I can! But recently I’ve spent much of my time finishing a chapter for a vanilla romance story that I started and abandoned very long time ago. It’s set in the Touhou universe. I wrote a sex scene for it, and I could upload it here in HF so that there's at least some new content while you guys wait. Would that be cool? It’s a super depressing story at first though. The light-hearted, romantic sex scene only shows up in the latest chapter. What do you guys think? Though If I do upload it here, of course I’ll put a “minimal amounts of hentai” warning in the description.

To answer your aching curiosities about the next chapter of KK: I shall post some lines I put so far in the sloppy rough draft (Spoilers):

Nishu: It’s no use...I can’t beat them. Even if they’re split up, I'm no match for how well they fight. I’m just going to die here…
Glom: Kid, haven’t you learned anything from your time capturing them? Just do the same thing as you did before!
Nishu: I don’t understand. Those times, I got lucky, and they fell for some kind of trick. But that’s not going to work here.
Glom: I’m not talking about tricking them! Don’t fight them either. Just fuck them!
Nishu: ...What?
Glom: You heard me! Fuck them! Fuck them hard, fuck them silly! Remember that your fluids are a sedative. You have a trump card, a hidden weapon that all women tremble at the sight of! So when they open themselves to you, whip it out and ram it in as hard and as fast as you can!

This dialogue subject to change as I write and edit it, of course.

Well, seeing as it’s been over a month the statute of limitations has presumably expired, so I suppose I’ll ask what the status on the next chapter is.

I guarantee I'll be uploading something by the end of the week.

I see that you too like to live dangerously ;)

When can we expect the next chapter?

I love this story and your work but I pray to God it's not over yet. Please Let Rin/Suzune be in it too maybe something like Final Secret Boss that must be overcome. Especially if she is forced to handle multiple copies of our protagonist and his Yoma at same time all at once:) This may be shamelessly shouting my own preferences but I think it's fair to say she is one of the hottest women in series and her ninja outfit is pretty enticing while adhering to the somewhat traditional feel of what Kunoichi would wear at least more so than others anyway.
Well regardless Great Work and looking forward to next chapter as always.

Hey! Don't you just love comments two months late? Anyways, yes I totally agree! With Rin being one of the few adult ninja girls there, she's definitely one of the hottest. I already have some ideas for how her chapter will go.

That being said, getting to her at all plot-wise is the tricky part. It'll be much easier once I finish off with Hanzo girls. I'll try to set things up in the (possible) sequel in a way I can get alot more random with the selection of girls. In the meantime, thank you for your support! I'll be much more punctual with my replies to comments in the future.

Hey Everyone, Thank you so much for being patient with my upload dates! I may not speak much, but I really am grateful for your support! I will try my best to complete my work faster.

Does he interact with them in any shape or capacity? Or does he just leave them asleep?

That's a good question! He mostly just leaves them asleep. I'll put a line or two later to clarify that.

So will he interact wirh them now? The nonstop sex is all well and good. But this guy isn't some Arse. Will he ever try to speak with them? Cause just keeping them hostage for sex seems like a waste they're hot ninjas for pete's sake.

Lmao I agree! He's definitely going interact with them in the next chapter without a doubt. But (spoilers I guess?)  I will always want things to be super difficult for him, or for something to go wrong. Now I just need to decide which action he takes that will blow up in his face, and how/if he gets out of it.

Interestin......hopefully this doesn't lose the charm it has. Cause this is refreshing in a sen ran story. That the protag is not a piece of shit asshole. And i hope he eventually worms his way into their hearts.....even Yagyu........also leave Hebijo alone cause those girls have issues....many many issues.......also will the problem be solved with sex?

Isn't ANY problem solved with sex? I'm joking lol. I'm really glad you like the story! However, I've been writing this story fully aware of the irony of a "nice guy" rapist. The non-consensual nature of the sex acts so far, and how each girl had a different experience with it, are going to play an integral part of what happens next. As for the Hebijo girls, there's a reason why the boy has been nearly groomed into becoming an "evil" ninja. 

(              Big spoiler              ) 

I'm actually planning on ending it soon. Maybe start a sequel in the future with the name Kunoichi Kidnapping 2 or something. Or... Kunoichi Kidnapping: the episodic TV series? Heh. We'll see in time.

I hope the ladies in the first part help.........And I wonder what'll be the next victims added to the rape harem....also ship protag and asuka now.

That makes two of us :D