The Big Top
Submitted December 30, 2009 Updated December 30, 2009 Status Complete | Quick story to go along with a certain picture. I guess this is the...sequel? Like, the day after, or something. It stars that jester, at any rate. Beware, the content''s a little extreme. |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 0 - The Greatest Show on Earth
Submitted: December 30, 2009 • Updated: December 30, 2009
Word count: 2898 • Size: 15k • Comments: 31 • views: 37474
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Rakked on January 5, 2013, 8:47:37 PM
Rakked on (Chapter: index)
lyricality on June 25, 2012, 10:24:45 AM
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scorp29 on December 3, 2010, 9:38:10 AM
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raistlinmajere on August 29, 2010, 6:53:25 AM
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DemonBlood on April 23, 2010, 12:52:44 AM
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Solomon on March 16, 2010, 12:54:32 PM
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Sparrow on March 18, 2010, 11:36:51 AM
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TigerofWu on March 9, 2010, 7:35:10 AM
TigerofWu on (Chapter: index)
Awesome story dude. I haven't really read many hentai/porn stories (I'm a dabbler =3) but I saw your affection for them and figured if someone with as good tastes as you enjoy them they shouldn't be disappointing. And disappointing it was not. I must definitely check out more... after I've reloaded, of course X)
PoastToasties on January 19, 2010, 2:42:21 PM
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D3l7a3ch0 on January 15, 2010, 5:36:20 PM
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Comment Deleted
Sparrow on January 16, 2010, 2:33:13 AM
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D3l7a3ch0 on January 18, 2010, 10:19:32 PM
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Comment Deleted
Sparrow on January 27, 2010, 10:05:31 PM
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fuck101 on January 2, 2010, 12:20:44 PM
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cuntzilla on January 1, 2010, 12:03:13 PM
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Jasole on December 31, 2009, 8:29:04 AM
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drhobophd on December 31, 2009, 6:22:22 AM
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Sparrow on January 1, 2010, 2:15:18 AM
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Shadowen on December 31, 2009, 5:26:45 AM
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Chameleus on December 30, 2009, 6:56:52 AM
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salarta on December 30, 2009, 3:28:02 AM
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The only other thing for me to really say is that from what I read, it doesn't feel like you take full advantage of the scenario. Your picture for the story had an excellent idea behind it that makes use of the carnival atmosphere; she's a painted up sex game, fuck her good and hard to win a prize. Your picture also puts emphasis on her sex appeal, as if she's trying to draw attention to it. Maybe it's just personal preference, but I think the greatest potential for this setting would come from sex acts where she uses her body and sometimes makes a fool of herself. Things like pulling a tied line of rags from her pussy, or squirting something from her bra (or releasing a gas from it), or falling off a balance ball and using her tits to cushion the fall. Basically things that turn her body into another big prop to give people a good laugh. The way it reads currently, it seems like more of a sex show only in a big tent with a woman wearing a strange outfit, rather than a carnival event with a sexual jester.
I hope my comment here comes out more positive than negative, because the last thing I want to do is discourage you. :) Good luck with future projects!
Sparrow on December 30, 2009, 4:10:30 AM
Sparrow on (Chapter: index)
And personally, if she were making a fool of herself I wouldn't like things as much. The empowered woman is always more attractive to me, and if she were more of a bumbling clown and less a fanciful gymnast with a not-so-hidden penchant for sex, it wouldn't be as fun for me.
But yeah the whole thing's basically an excuse to write about large insertions and deepthroat. You got me. ^~^;
Spaceman on December 30, 2009, 2:33:15 PM
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salarta on December 30, 2009, 4:25:35 AM
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You probably won't see this, if you're not getting notifications like I never seem to anymore for my stories. :P
Sparrow on December 30, 2009, 6:58:19 AM
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salarta on December 30, 2009, 10:16:32 AM
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zetsu1 on December 31, 2009, 5:38:05 PM
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RIFT on December 30, 2009, 2:13:07 AM
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Sparrow on December 30, 2009, 2:34:36 AM
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But seriously, yeah it's...vivid. I don't like to draw the same characters over and over if I can help it, so you probably won't see a picture based on this, but it's nice to dream.
Glad you like it though. I'm still new to the writing thing, so that's encouraging.
BI on December 30, 2009, 12:09:19 AM
BI on (Chapter: index)